You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize