Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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