I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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