I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Randomize
