Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
