just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
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He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize