So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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