yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
