Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Still dying that you shit outside
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
