I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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