woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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