So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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