do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.