TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis