I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
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I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
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I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..