YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
