I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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