Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...

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(301): View more from Maryland

I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry

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(516): View more from New York

you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers

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(301): View more from Maryland

She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....

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Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(916): View more from California

I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!

(508): View more from Massachusetts

He does that

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?

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(636): View more from Missouri

Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha

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