I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.