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• (315): View more from New York

  We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

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• (718): View more from New York

  If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.

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  These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream

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• (650): View more from California

  Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.

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