You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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