called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.