Pappa wants mamma naked
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
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