Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?

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(410): View more from Maryland

He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.

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(205): View more from Alabama

I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(415): View more from California

I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game

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(646): View more from New York

In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?

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