are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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