Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
