i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
