I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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