she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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