You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
