i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
