No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
