Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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