So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
