Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She's the barista slut.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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