yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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