You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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