The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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