Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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