Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I wish you could order shots online.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
