Nicole vs. Life
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
