I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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