Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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