i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize