you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
