I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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