he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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