Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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