yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
