Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
