I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
