I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
