So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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