I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize