hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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