You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
