There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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