Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
