I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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