one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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