I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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