Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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