I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize