how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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