Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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