He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
