He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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