sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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