I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
