You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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