a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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